Tag: happynewyear

2023 New Years Values Focused Reset

Featured

I first started with the concept of focusing on 5 values for each year versus resolutions in 2021.

As the new year approached I notice the trend of moving away from resolutions and choosing one word to focus on for the year. One word doesn’t work for me because it’s too big, it’s too much of a focus on one thing or more so too easy to let the one thing slide when unsuccessful.

That being said whatever works for you, go for it. I advocate for values because centring your actions around values provides clarity and purpose. Clarity and purpose helps with contentedness, contentment with peace, and isn’t that what we are all searching for?

Check out my post on Values setting here – https://inventingresilience.com/2020/11/22/values-who-you-are-and-how-you-define-yourself/

The Annual Values reset doesn’t necessarily focus on a top 10 or even top 20 values, more so reflecting on the previous year and what might have been missing or could benefit from digging deeper into. The other reflection is on possible pinch points for the upcoming year and which values might help ease them.

My 5 values of focus for 2023 are –

Generosity, Growth, Compassion, Joy and Consistency

How these show up may look different day by day or month by month. With identifying the values, taking the time daily or weekly to check in and see if I’m still aligning my actions and goals with them helps with forward vision.

The values might present individually or in tandem such as Generosity and Consistency. Having set up a monthly contribution to a couple charitable organizations locally and via payroll deductions (something my company offers) I know consistent help is provided. This is a very direct correlation which might not always exist.

Generosity may show up in many forms as well, not just financial. The idea of being generous with your time, your energy and your space can be equally or more important. I have felt like I was pulling from an empty bucket for a while and so not being a generous as I would like so remembering small moments or actively finding opportunities to be is the goal.

Growth was important because the past year was huge in growth for me and I felt tired before my Holiday. I needed a break and thought maybe I’ll just take it easy for a while, it could be so good to just rest. The thing is I know I feel best when I’m continually learning and growing so my vision with this is to finish at least one course related to work and try something new. Very general and open enough for flexibility (options).

Compassion is something I try hard to apply everyday; I know there are areas where I am better at this than others. I can get frustrated with privilege and those I describe as Ostriches, people who would rather stick their head in the sand than hash it out.

I am hoping having this as a goal will continue to let me have an open mind in every interaction and if not (because I’m human and all) when I do lead with judgement instead, when doing my reflection periods (day/week) I can sprinkle in more compassion.

Joy, it may seem like a funny one but my partner suggested happiness and I said you can’t have that because it’s not tangible. Joy, joy can be tangible in moments, in memories and sometimes even in things.

So for Joy, my goal is to capture those moments as often as possible, to revel in them, slow down and savour them.

Last is Consistency- this was the last one I thought of but it fits perfectly because consistency is what will tie them all together for the year.

Consistency in my workouts (I’m currently on a 79 day streak with PILATES and movement), consistency on my rest taking, consistency on reading for pleasure, on marking those moments of Joy, and consistency in reflection.

I have spent the last decade since having my daughter feeling all over the place. I’ve worked at over 10 different employers, never one at a time and always while taking courses. I’ve spent a decade being all over the place. I’m sure there is a post in here but the point is that this year I finally feel like I can settle in a bit. I love my job, my kids are older and all in school, I’m coming out of the postpartum/post divorce fog/sadness and Consistency I’m hoping will only help in creating peace.

My last piece to Consistency, it’s a big one, is to show up here more. I’m off work for the next week, my hope is to outline 12-24 topics. Writing 1-2 per month with a corresponding podcast episode.

I started Inventing Resilience from a need to have an outlet and to fill my creative cup. Now I just need to ensure I spend the time often and consistently to always be filling the bucket.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading and please share your values of focus for the upcoming year – or your word or resolutions.

2021: The Values Reset

Featured

With the start of the New Year upon us, many are focusing on goals or traditional New Year’s resolutions. The thought process of ‘New Year, New Me’ is not necessarily a bad one, but what if we spend the time reflecting on values instead?

I want to challenge everyone, yes, I use that word a lot, but truly challenge you to use the start of the year to start the Values Mindset. What does that mean? What would that look like?

Well to start, when making your Goals for 2021, you first start with your Values instead of the desired End result, then you apply the Goal mindset to your Values; meaning that your life is dictated by fulfilling your Values vs. an end Goal that may potentially compromise those Values. I have made up a table designed in the SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Timely) goal planning method (introduced by George Doran, slightly changed) with prompts identifying your Values while hopefully giving structure as to how to apply a Goal mindset to your Values. I have also made up a list of Values and Reflection Journal Prompts (including the concept of Two Stars and a Wish by Paul Buck and Dylan Wiliam’s). The Guide is meant to help structure your journal on the Values displayed in each day. If interested in receiving a PDF copy, go to the contact page and send me a note requesting the templates and I will happily send them your way.

I suggest starting with 5 Values to focus on for the year – you can go up to 10. Focusing on 5 and repeating goals specific to those will hopefully be less overwhelming and more manageable.

My 5 Values of Focus for 2021 are: Grace, Perseverance, Creativity, Health, Candor.

There is connectivity in the Values, I picked. This was done on purpose to allow for greater success in achieving them. They also connect with my CORE Values and will support my overall goal of living true to them. How will these show up in my life? Let’s dive in and I’ll theorize how my Values of Focus will appear in my every day life –

Grace – For me Grace is a combination of compassion, patience and empathy.

I am going back to work after having the last 10 days off, being able to just relax with my family and really bask in some much needed me time. Reading, working out and resting. Not only is it back to work in the morning but it’s back to Online School, because in our province, schools are delayed at least one week before in-class work begins.

I am going to need to give myself Grace, to allow myself to accept that I can’t possibly do it all perfectly. I have a knack for stopping myself from even trying if I can’t do it perfectly or getting super frustrated with things when I think it could be better. So I am going to need to breathe a bit more, take moments when needed and give Grace to not just me but also my kids and my partner as this will be yet another shift in life flow.

Another way Grace is sure to show up is in my interactions and judgements of others. It’s really easy to fall into the trap of thinking everyone should think exactly the same way you do, but that’s just not reality. I will need to find ways to give Grace, and to continue to care for those that might not extend the same to myself, my family or loved ones. That doesn’t mean not holding people Accountable, because that is one of my top Values, but what it does mean is trying to lean into a person and understanding them. Finding compassion and empathy for them, being patient when they might not be ready to receive information or communication. Building arguments or discussions in ways that will enable someone to receive the information and actually reflect. I can be a bull in a china shop when I believe in something and so this year I am going to teach this bovine to dance a bit.

Perseverance – For me Perseverance is the combination of Goal Oriented, Discipline and Commitment.

I initially started this blog at the beginning of 2019. I was really good for the first few months but I let it drop off because I started a new job that became all consuming. I needed to take the time to learn balance but this year I want to commit that even if I only get a handful of views/reads, etc. that this medium, this outlet and a Value driven life is something to share. That helping others find their own Resilience and ability to self-reflect is something I want to honour.

I have some additional training and education to do at my day job, and I have made a goal to finish it by the end of 2022. That sounds huge, even just saying it but the long goal is important. I have often given up too early and this has hurt my ability to succeed, to fully realize my potential. This doesn’t necessarily mean that I haven’t accomplished much, I feel good where I’m at but that I do wonder what could have been sometimes, should I have stuck it out a bit longer. I’ll need to sacrifice to accomplish my goal, sacrifice me time and possibly family time, but the focus is when the going gets tough or when I start to negative self talk that I need to persevere, I will see it through.

Creativity – For me Creativity is the combination of Imagination, Individuality and Beauty.

Dreaming up all the ways I can connect with people and the possibility of building a community of support is a creative thing for me, it’s a beautiful thing. So this year, I am going to attempt to add a Podcast to this blog. I have goals to get creative in different mediums to reach as many people as possible. To think of ways to contribute to positive community change. This means learning whole new skill sets. The last two days I have spent trying to create a branding kit for Inventing Resilience. Picking colours, fonts, making a logo and a submark. I have tried to lay out a general outline for content for the next 12 months. I might fail and fall flat but I might also succeed. Failure is ok, mistakes will be made but growth comes from mistakes. I am choosing to value the attempt at Creativity above all else.

I am trying to do more research in reading and listening to other authors, hopefully engaging some if possible. I’ll be playing with how to make content more specific, not just for my main page but also the Relationship and Physical Resilience pages.

Health – For me Health is a combination of Fitness, Endurance and Vitality.

I started a 50 Days of Movement Challenge for myself on December 19th. I have so far successfully completed 16 Days of Movement with no break. I made sure to set myself up for success. My first week was when I only had a 4 day work week with 10 days off to follow and now I’m just hoping the whole two weeks to create a habit thing has kicked in.

The reason why I wanted to make a challenge for myself specifically around movement vs. fitness is that movement is more consistently achievable for me. If I miss a hard core workout one day (I’m following two separate online programs currently) than I can simply take my pup for a walk and not miss a beat. This will be another opportunity to practice Grace.

A massive component to true wellness for me is Mental health. Being able to move makes a big difference in my daily outlook. When the lockdowns first started I really struggled with being home all the time with no alone time. I am an introvert for sure and all of my mental energy reserves were getting used up. I fell into a familiar but unhealthy pattern of putting myself last. I wasn’t making time to move and could feel myself getting resentful and depleted. In trying to do everything for everyone I was actually hurting both those I loved and myself because I wasn’t able to be the best version of me. The saying that you can’t drink from an empty well, rings so true, yet is so easy to forget.

So Health for me this year will in large part mean taking time to read, write, and ramble without guilt. I’ll need constant reminders and check ins but I believe my others goals will help keep this in check.

Candor – For me Candor is a combination of Awareness, Vulnerability and Open-Mindedness.

This goal is near and dear to me, and is mostly aimed at what I share here. I want to be fully committed to Candor. I believe myself to be a genuine and open person in general, but to really focus on the Candor piece will be interesting. There are always parts of us that we hide, either for fear of judgement or possibly internal shame.

I am hoping that in sharing, in being vulnerable, I can help others to share. Maybe see themselves in me or someone they love. I hope that in Candor, I can spark deep conversations and bring new perspectives. When you are able to be open and really be honest with yourself and others, you can grow in the most wonderful ways. Candor provide people the knowledge of where exactly they stand with you shows Integrity, which is a guiding Value for me.

As you can see each one of my Focus Values are closely tied to others as well as my CORE values. Being tied together helps with alignment, alignment bring with peace, and peace lends itself to fulfillment and happiness.

Doing the Journals daily or weekly will help maintain my focus and perspective. Am I solely working towards a goal or am I aligning my Values? Which will fulfill me more. I am hoping you will join me in Resetting a little bit differently this year. Going deeper into Goals, figuring out the Why behind them, the Values held within them.